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someone in my family is full of so much anger and hate? 7 mos ago

my nan lost two daughters over 10 years ago and as the years have gone on her depression has gotten worse. one of her daughters was my mum and she completely hates my dad coz he is with someone else and sometimes he hasn't done certain things for me that he should have but he isn't a bad dad. she literally wants to kill him and 4 other people she really hates and talks about shooting them or hiring a hit man and she even has money saved for one. she has my mums ashes and talks to her and gets pissed off when no one goes to the grave of her other daughter or my premature sister who passed after a day. she can't say my mum or aunts name without bursting into tears. she is very stubborn and angry and easy to fall out with and once u fall out with her thats it even if she's in the wrong u have to make the first move. she has pushed away some of her other kids. I live with her so I've seen how its messed with her, she loves me a lot and wants to do the best for me (which she has) but I feel under pressure I don't know where my premature sisters grave is only my dad does and my nan can't go coz she's got a bad knee and its like 4 hours away from here but my dad said he would go this week but forgot he had to do something else and I told her it won't be this week and she went mental basically. I struggle to put up with this sometimes she won't get help and thinks my dad betrayed my mum because his with someone else but he wasn't with anyone until like 4 years she hates my uncle who was with my aunt but he didn't wait long after she passed so thats fair enough but I don't know what to do the family has tried to help but she doesn't want to know she's stubborn and will not change her ways of thinking or listen to anyone. Could anyone give me some advice please? I really don't know what to do

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